Missy no likey!

I finally hit up Shenzhen, the Hong Konger's equivalent of Americans jumping over the border to go shopping in Canada. Getting there was a bit of a pain though, because immigration was confusing. In a nutshell, I went to the wrong section of the Immigration line (I have an HK ID, so why did I get sent to the "visitors" line???) Anyways, I made it finally.

The day was long. And exhausting. And annoying. But totally worth it. While it's not particularly exciting or necessary to know, I'll tell you now that the second you cross the border into China, you're immediately back in a land of no toilet paper or soap.

Wen Li and I decided to "first" go into the Lu Huo (or something like that) mall which was a mere 5 minute walk away from immigration. We arrived in Shenzhen at 10:30am. We left at 8pm. We were in the ONE mall for 10 HOURS! I spent less than $60CAD during my entire time. Wen Li on the other hand, averaged $15CAD every hour. OMFG.

You wanna know what the sad thing was? Every bloody store in that mall sold the same thing. All the purse stores had the same names/styles, all the shoe stores sold the same styles, every jewelry stand had the same earrings. Within an hour, I was experiencing a continual sense of deja vu and couldn't remember if I had been into this store or that one.

One of the more annoying things were the sales clerks. They sat outside their stores and the moment they saw a white person, they jump up and start yelling, "Missy! Missy! You want LV wallet? Gucci handbag? You come in. Missy!" (I don't know why they insist on saying Missy, but it's really aggravating.) If you were in an especially crowded hallway, they would also grab your arm and try to drag you into the store. At times like that, I could think of nothing but the lack of soap in the mall's washrooms.

I think the most exciting thing was ordering some pants to be made. For those of you who don't know, I've lost weight since arriving here and my pants are becoming saggy... Unfortunately I'm still too big for the "larger" sizes here. (Large meaning instead of having needle thin legs, you have pencil thin legs.) Well, Wen Li and I started asking quotes on clothes and one woman gave us a lower quote than the others, so we went into her shop and started looking through clothing magazines finding things we liked.

Essentially they were high-fashion magazines and the tailors will just duplicate it. I saw some of their finished work and it was amazing. It was even more encouraging to have several foreigners pass by and whisper some advice to us about tailoring and to give thumbs up to our choice of tailors. Apparently "Daisy" is really professional.

Wen Li and I randomly met an old-CUHK exchange student at Daisy's shop. It was cool because she could remininsce about the good ol' CUHK days. She also gave Daisy a thumbs up but warned us against getting jeans made there. We ended up exchanging email addresses and the like. I now have a place to crash in Shenzhen if needed. :)

Anyways, I found some groovy pants in a couture magazine and so Daisy took my measurements and off we went to choose fabric. My eyes hurt from all the patterns and colours. I ended up choosing a brown/tweedy looking colour. I'm very excited about going to pick it up - it will be ready in about 10 days. And best of all??? The tailoring and material only cost me $120HKD!!! That's like $17CAD for a custom pair of pants. Of course, this could all backlash 10 days from now when I get them and find they're crap or something. But I don't anticipate any problems.

There were some amusing mishaps through the day.

• I wanted to buy a new memory card for my digital camera. At one of the first shops I went to, I bargained the guy down to $100HKD and then down further to $80HKD. Just as I was pulling out my wallet though, the prick jerked it back up to $100. I was like, screw this and left.


• At another shop selling memory cards, I again managed to get a guy down to $100HKD. However, in my attempt to get him even lower, I tried to tell him $80HKD... Unfortunately my mandarin number skills are crap. Instead of saying $80, I accidentally told him $800. I immediately realized my error and started laughing hysterically. The guy was practically falling over to sell me the card by this time. "$800 okay~da! I sell it to you for $800!" LOL. I don't know how long it will last, but at least for a while I hope.


• Upon entering one store, a lady said hello to us. I responded with a mandarin greeting and suddenly she started spouting out all this stuff in mandarin. I just stared at her with a deer-caught-in-the-headlights look and told her (in mandarin) that I didn't understand her. Wen Li and I immediately left the store. Apparently the lady had asked if I could speak mandarin. And here I am, speaking to her in Mandarin, but telling her I don't understand a word she was saying. Hmm. Maybe this was funnier in person.


• Gah. Apparently you could get a cheap manicure in Shenzhen. My frickin' tour guide book needs to be updated. I guess it's more of a case that you can get a manicure and listen to an infomercial at the same time. We had been quoted $25HKD for a manicure and pedicure. Well, upon entering, they try to sell you a gazillion other things as well. They would randomly make one nail prettier than the others and tell you, "Missy! See how beautiful nail is? All others - only $80!" And frickin' hell the bastards were persistent. They kept pestering and pestering me to do all these things. Then they'd lower the price even though I kept saying no. They didn't understand "No" in either their language or English. I even tried putting on an angry face (not hard at this point) and growling no. Towards the end, I was even yanking my arms away from them to emphasize that I didn't want anything. This happened despite Wen Li's telling them I didn't want anything. Grr.


• At the manicure place (my nails are slightly crooked looking now because my manicurist was too busy watching tv to pay attention to my hands) I did accept a massage ($30HKD/hour). Well, half way through my massage, the hands suddenly began to migrate to the front of my neck, and slowly descending lower and lower. I casually turned to Wen Li and asked her if my masseuse was a guy or girl. Wen Li was like, "A girl, why?" I responded with, "Because I'd be a bit more concerned if it was a guy, because whoever they are is getting damn close to second base!"


• At one shoe store, I picked up a random sandal and asked the shopkeeper how much it cost. He comes over and first thing he says is, "Ah, Gucci shoe! Very good!" I started laughing my ass off. The shoe says some frickin' no name brand right on it, and here he is trying to convince me it's a gucci shoe. I'm not bloody blind man. Afterwards, everytime Wen Li and I saw something for sale, I would ask if it was Gucci or Prada. "Gucci apple? Louis Vuitton emery board???"


• While trying to bargain a guy down on a wallet for Wen Li, I told him (in my fabulous mandarin) my favourite bargaining line, "We're students! We're poor/We have no money!" Sadly he seemed to think I wasn't being serious because he responded, "Ah, you make good jokes!" That wasn't a joke buddy. You made me sad by thinking so. :P

Going home provided me with a way to work off my stress. First of all, Wen Li had issues getting through immigration this time. She forgot to fill out a form, was sent to a different line, yelled at for not having something she didn't need to have, and to top it all off, had her bags searched even though no one else was being looked at.

Well, getting on the train was a stress reliever in itself. There was a huge crowd waiting to board the MTR. And getting on the train here comes with a "Kill or be killed" attitude, and by this time I was ready to do the former. (One can only hear the word "Missy" so many times before cracking.) Anyways, when the doors to the train opened, an older gentlejerk tried to shove (literally - both hands were used to shove) me out of his way to get a seat on the train. Well, Mau wasn't having none of it. I shoved back and somehow pinned him between the train door and me. I'll have you know that Wen Li and I secured seats beside each other for the entire ride home. (Okay, that sounds a lot more violent than it really was. But there was much shoving involved, but I was more shocked by it than actually party to it.)

So what did Mau buy today other than food?
- A new wallet (an Anna Sui knockoff - or at least we think it's a knockoff)
- A souvenir for a sibling
- An SD memory card
- Tailored pants
- A crap manicure